A Look at a Miser's Life

December 24, 1843
              Today was as drear as any other day. People wishing a Merry Christmas! A Merry Christmas! Bah! A merry Christmas is a joke. There is nothing merry about giving out handouts to the poor. The wretched, disgusting people who should be thrown into jail. When my nephew visited he tried to convince me that being a dirty, piece of filth who celebrated Christmas was a good thing. He invited me over to his house to be merry and cheerful, like every other lazy, oblivious person on Christmas. Two gentlemen had the nerve of coming into my office, disturbing my work and asking for a handout for the poor. Gentlemen are not what they are, they are annoying people who should not be allowed to walk into the world. They supported the idea of giving the poor handouts instead of sending them to valuable institutions that I have put my precious money into like prisons, Union workhouses, and treadmills. All the other people on this planet need to learn that being a low-life is a shameful life, and that we shouldn't give into giving handouts to these monstrous people.
Scrooge